Month: April 2018
Here’s a link to my first HuffPost blog!
Social media is an integral part of life for many of us these days and despite recent revelations about how our data may have been used (and the fact it can be incredibly addictive) it can be a really positive thing too. It can bring like-minded people together for a cause, interest or hobby, offer support for people experiencing the same condition or situation as well as enable friends and family separated by distance to keep up with each other’s lives. It can also be a fantastic platform for advertising small businesses, social or fundraising events and it can help people who are isolated to feel like they belong to something, but on the flip side, the temptation to compare our lives to other people’s posts online can leave us feeling decidedly inadequate!
This is because we only generally share the best version of ourselves online. The flattering photo of us looking as close to fabulous as possible or the picture of our child with the award they’ve won, smiling sweetly at the camera. However, we are less quick to share a photo of us looking decidedly rough or of our child slamming doors and throwing a tantrum, because we don’t want people to see that side of our lives. We want the airbrushed version. Filter well and truly in place.
And what about when people we consider friends share pictures of a night out we weren’t invited too!? Or when someone posts photos of their exotic holiday when we are struggling just to pay the bills? Or when it seems everyone is sharing news of their pregnancy and what we want more than anything is to have a child, or people announcing news of their engagement when we long to be married? It’s in your face, it’s in your hand, it’s on your phone and yet it can be strangely compelling to view these selected snapshots of other people’s lives. Constantly!
For the bereaved or the separated it can be particularly painful. On the one hand there is great potential support available online via groups on social media, but to access this you will no doubt have to negotiate the updates from other people’s lives. Other people’s lives that carry on regardless, unaffected by the loss you feel so deeply and that hurts so much. As time passes it may becomes less painful and less all consuming, but sometimes to see a picture of a smiling happy family with a mum, dad and children doing something fun together is too much to bear. It’s not jealousy, it’s just capturing something that you don’t have any more.
So how can we make the social media experience a more positive one? Well, we can change the settings on our phone so it isn’t pinging every time someone shares a tweet, uploads a photo or posts an update. That way you’re not tempted to check what it is (that funny meme or cute cat video can wait to be viewed later!) There is also the ‘unfollow’ option. So if a certain person’s posts upset you or wind you up…stop following them! (The option on Facebook also means you don’t have to ‘unfriend’ them, but it will stop the person whose posts irritate you clogging up your newsfeed!)
Maybe consider finding an online group for an interest you have, or a cause you’re interested in. Use social media to connect with other like minded people in a positive way. Or maybe consider starting something yourself! Is there a need for a support group for something? (Beautiful Stationery Addiction?!) or do you want to find people who share your love of something? (Beautiful Stationery?! Do you see a theme emerging?) Social media can be a fantastic way of reaching a huge number of people who have similar interests or experiences to you.
The charity I started for bereaved children certainly wouldn’t have reached as many people, as quickly as it has, without the use of social media. When I first had the idea I was able to raise the money I needed to get started in just over 24 hours, by sharing a crowdfunding page on Facebook. I also set up a page for the group and could share it, reaching far more people than I would’ve done by putting up posters and sending out letters. It has also been a great way of finding other organisations doing similar things in different parts of the country as well as linking up with other local groups and charities.
So, for all of the bad press and negativity, why not decide to take control of social media and choose to use it for good? You might be surprised what you find.