Today is Children’s Grief Awareness Day and the beginning of Children’s Grief Awareness Week (17th-23rd November). Around this time last year I wrote a blog about children’s grief and the lack of support for bereaved children in my area and how I was going to try and create something to meet this need. Well here I am a year later and it’s amazing how far we’ve come!
As I’ve written before, 1 in 29 school aged children have lost a parent or sibling. That’s a startling statistic and one you probably aren’t aware of unless your child is the one. It was following the sudden death of my husband, when my son was 8 years old, that I discovered the apparent lack of support available for bereaved children in York. So in May this year I started Bereaved Children Support York (BCSY). I run a monthly drop in peer support group, arrange social trips and activities and supply books and resources to parents and carers.
This gives the children a chance to meet others who have similar experiences in a friendly and relaxed atmosphere. In the 6 months since we started, I have watched friendships develop and confidence grow. There is lots of fun and laughter, sometimes there are tears, but always there is support from others and a listening ear. The children know that they are not alone.
I’m gradually spreading the word about what we are doing. I am making connections with other organisations like the CVS, the council, the hospice, youth organisations and schools. I am also in the midst of writing an application to become a registered charity and then the hard work really begins as I look to secure funding to employ someone to offer one to one therapeutic support.
So, from an idea a year ago to where we are now is really quite astounding. Over 30 bereaved children have attended a session or event in the last 6 months. Some have come to one event, others haven’t missed a session and many are somewhere in between. I’m also in contact with a number of other families who haven’t been able to make an event yet, but are interested in what we’re doing.
I am hugely thankful for all the support I have received from family, friends and the kindness of strangers who continue to surprise me with donations and offers of help. It is a privilege to meet these children and their families. To build relationships and for them to trust me with their stories and be part of their grief journey. It is hard work, but immensely rewarding. I remain passionate about raising awareness about the needs of bereaved children and young people. There is no quick fix or simple solution, but if I can eventually build a service that offers ways of helping children and their families to negotiate the path of grief that can only be a good thing.